Diabetes

Monday January 28th, 2008

Jacob's Diabetes

Saturday 26th and Friday the 25th Jacob woke up on the low side. I think he must be having a growth spell or something.

Also on the 26th Jacob running around in Joann's Fabric store went low 67, he was acting really goofy so I thought he was high. He use to be able to tell when he was going low, I can't tell anymore. I didn't have the tester in the store with me so I didn't know he was low until we got the tester in the car. We ate lunch, then he was 187 around 1:45 when we got to the Kangaroo Zoo. Around 3pm he was 53 and going down, I had him drink some juice and we drove home shortly after. Fine until before bedtime 204 at 8pm, tested again at 9:30pm 72. Gave him lots of sugar, had a hard time getting him above 100. At 10PM 82, at 10:30 after more sugar he was 79; he went down. Finally at 11PM he was 167, but woke up Sunday morning at 51. Sunday he was in the high 100's to low 200's. No lows except for breakfast time. Went to bed at 141, the lowest of the day. Monday morning at 5 am, Jacob woke up and could not get out of his bed. He told us (me and my Mom) that his arms were not working and he had to balance himself with his elbow and forearm over the top rail to get down the ladder, because his legs and arms wouldn't work. He got down the ladder and couldn't walk, he made it to the stairs to go down to mamos and tell her "he didn't feel good." He then had to use the railing to help him down the stairs, by the second flight of stairs he was so weak he could hardly stand. He woke up my mom and she brought him up to me. I never heard him during all of this so I figured he was just a bit low and I told my mom to grab his tester and we would test him. At this point I didn't know all the trouble he had I just thought he was tired. He was 46, I being tired myself said get him a juice and she took him downstairs and gave him a juice and took him to bed with her. He wanted his mamos. Jacob has been way lower than 46 and I had no idea that he had already been lower than that during the night. His liver gives him a boost of sugar when he goes low, but he didn't have enough sugar storage, because of so many other lows, to bring him up. Not to much later my mom brought him back upstairs and told me he feels really sick and wants you,
Jacob: "Mama I feel so sick, take me to the doctor, am I spilling keytones?"
At this point I start to notice that the right side of his face is sagging. I tell him "Jacob you are low you need sugar"
"mama I feel so sick." This continues as I and my mom continue to give him sugar. At this point I go down stairs and locate the glucagon shot, just in case. He is eating and drinking but he seems to be loosing more control of his body. His mouth and right side of his face are now all the way down. He can't speak without slurring his words and he is not making much since when he does speak. Aiden wakes up and we put the boys in my bed and turn on the TV to try and get Jacob's mind distracted. Aiden asked why is Jacob talking so funny. Jacob got off the bed and tried to get back on, but his body still would not function correctly. I help him onto the bed, a few min. later he said to Aiden the he can't feel his arms. He said "is this Aiden's arm?" referring to his own left arm. I call Primary's and they put me to the on call doctor. After speaking to him I knew I didn't need to go to Primary's and that he didn't have a stroke. It took about 35 -40 min. before Jacob didn't feel so sick and could somewhat speak to me. His face still looked like it was going to fall off and he still had numbness in his legs and arms, but his sugar was going up and by 6:45 he was finally 94. He and my mom went down stairs to her bed and I watched him walk, he dragged his right foot and walked with a limp on his other side. His hands were turned in and clinched and his right side of his face did not move at all. It didn't move when he spoke, we asked him to try and smile, no movement.
They say that these seizures don't "hurt" him. Yet he asked to be taken to the doctor because he felt so sick. I know the doctors mean that the seizures should not cause any long term damage, but there was no reason for him to go that low. I hate diabetes, I hate my son hurting and me trying to follow all the rules and it is not good enough, he still hurts, he still has seizures, his body is not his own. It is like something takes over. We are blessed to have the pump, I don't know what we would do without it. I don't think we would have the control over Jacob's numbers without it. I am just a bit confused as to what makes Jacob do some of the things he does. Most of it is that he is 5, but sometimes his diabetes makes him different. Giving him sugar or insulin will change how he acts and behaves.

I am back at square one, I don't understand this disease, I don't like this disease and I don't understand why it has to be so hard to control this disease. I test Jacob on an average every 2 hours while he is awake. That usually runs about 8-10 times during the day. Unless he is running low then we average 16-18 times. I say I hate it and yet I ask Jacob every 2 hours to poke his finger, then I get mad at him for poking the same fingers over and over. He has 2 or 3 fingers that look like hamburger. His bum is a pin cushion and he has no fat on his body anywhere else to poke. He can't play hard without going low, or I seem to give him too much before he plays and he is mean and silly with a high blood sugar, then crashes later during the night when all the fun and exercise catches up with him. I want to know my son, not my son with diabetes. I want to be able to push him to do more and not hold him back, make excuses for him, or make it seem like diabetes is a excuse. How do I know, when I feel like what I am doing is the best I can do and it is not good enough. He is only 5 years old and I am having trouble, what does the next few years hold? How do these years affect his life, future, health? I love Jacob, this trial will make him the great man he will become. I just don't understand why yet.